An Inspiring Example of the Communication Connection

Image by Quinn Kampschroer from Pixabay

Today was my first day back to work after a wonderful summer. I love summer vacation, make no mistake, but I also like getting back into my routine. I enjoy fall, yet late summer is amazing! Tourists go home. My kayak isn't tossed about by the wake of the motor boats. I can hear the birds instead of blaring radios. It becomes cooler to hike and the bugs start to disappear. It's truly a great time of year.

As I returned to work, the importance of what we do as SLPs (and educators) wasn't lost on me. We know communication is connection. We know the cost of when the intimacy of conversation is lost. I was reminded of how valuable communication is, beyond how we form sounds or sentences, beyond assessments and Facebook controversies, this past winter.

Our son, Mack was traveling from New York City home to NH for the holidays. It was his first year of college and we couldn't wait to see him, to hold him, to talk to him. As he was heading to the bus stop, he saw a homeless man who had no socks. Mack stopped, removed his socks, and gave them to the man.  "Thank you," the man said, "but do you have a minute? I really appreciate the socks, but I could use someone to talk to. People give me food and money, but nobody ever talks to me." Mack sat down next to the man and spent the next fifteen minutes talking, just talking. The man asked which Mack preferred, Dunkin Donuts or Starbucks, random small talk. And they just talked. It cost Mack nothing and it offered another human being connection and dignity and worth. When Mack recounted the incident, he said, "Ma, he only wanted someone to talk to. I could do that."

As I go into this school year I hope I don't forget how valuable what we do is. In this fast paced, social media driven world there are lots of hashtags about communication and plenty of slogans, but the real impact is sometimes simply seeing another person and taking the time to talk.

Enough IS Enough

Next week I start my 36th year as an SLP. THIRTY-SIXTH YEAR! Somehow I thought it was 37, but I guess it just feels that way. :) I am fairly happy with where my journey has taken me. I've grown both professionally and personally, but haven't quite reached that point of complete satisfaction. I still compare myself to young SLPs with their cute Teachers Pay Teachers stores. I still compare myself to the seasoned ASHA SLPs with their positions and professional clout. I compare, I compare, I compare. ENOUGH!

I am reading Brené Brown's Daring Greatly and she purports that much of society's problems are rooted in the "fear of being ordinary." Our social media feeds are clogged with posts of people living seemingly extraordinary lives. I know when I see posts I think, "What am I doing wrong? Why doesn't my life look so spectacular?" Brown digs deeper and describes a "culture of scarcity." In our culture of scarcity we never have enough and sadly when comparing ourselves to the perfectionism social media and media in general underscores, we never will.


As I read, I thought about how I could combat this as I approach a new school year. It occurred to me a series of daily affirmations about what I have that is enough might be a great place to start. Now, this doesn't mean I stop here, I can always do more, but where I am today is good enough for today. Tomorrow will bring something else, another change, a growth moment. So without further ado...
As an SLP:

• I am good enough
• I am successful enough
• I am competent enough
• I am talented enough
• I am creative enough
• I am compassionate enough
• I am smart enough
• I am professional enough
• I am thorough enough
• I am empathetic enough
• I am clever enough
• I am valued enough
• I am well read enough
• I write well enough
• I am organized enough
• I have enough
• I do enough
• I am enough

As a human:

• I am thin enough
• I am funny enough
• I am pretty enough
• My house is good enough
• My husband is good enough
• My children are good enough
• My car is good enough
• My bank account is full enough
• My clothes are good enough
• I am fit enough
• I run fast enough
• I have enough
• I am extraordinary enough
• I am enough

I am enough for me and the handful of people who know, accept, and love me for me. You are enough. So let's stop comparing and start this year doing what we do best. Let's live and be content. WE ARE ENOUGH.

Back to School 2019

Well, here I am, a blast from the past!! It has been a while since my last post, hasn't it? That's okay! I'm being gentle with myself regarding my hiatus and am just going to jump right back into the blogosphere.

In eleven days I will be back at work and although my years in the school system are winding down, I still get butterflies. My head is in a better space than in the past and I am even feeling excited to get back into my routine. I am looking at my future year and my future future. I have the beginnings of a plan and am itching to see how things pan out.

To begin, I have been immersing myself in learning (outside of the required continuing education required for licensure, etc), so back to school has had a literal meaning. I thought I would share what I've been doing and what is coming up, because I think it has in large part kept me jazzed about going back as well as going forward.

1. I have a student who was challenging what I had been taught as an SLP. What I learned and was using didn't seem to be the most effective therapy for his complex articulation disorder. I was picking my friend Sparklle SLP's brain and she mentioned trying the multiple oppositions approach. As much as she tried to explain it to me, I was confused and I wanted to employ it correctly. I bought Phonological Treatment of Speech Sound Disorders in Children: A Practical Guide 1st Edition by Jacqueline Bauman-Waengler and Diane Garcia. This book was a game changer for me. It very clearly described and explained the contrastive approaches for treating phonological disorders. The little guy who was so vexing to me, became my most improved student!
2. At the end of June when most of my students were on field trips, I took a course offered by Karen Dudek-Brannan on vocabulary assessment, vocabulary selection, and vocabulary instruction. She often referred to Contextualized Language Intervention: Scaffolding PreK–12 Literacy Achievement written by Teresa Ukrainetz. This is my next purchase and read!
3. ASHA Connect in Chicago, need I say more? Well, okay. Many folks aren't always satisfied with the ASHA conferences/conventions. They walk away wanting more. To that I say, "go get more!" It's impossible to provide deep information in 90 minutes. I view these conferences as an opportunity to travel, connect with friends, meet new people, explore the exhibit hall, and if a particular topic whets my appetite, I seek out more information on my own. That's my responsibility as a lifelong learner.
4. While doing ESY this summer, another student left me with questions. This was not a student I had evaluated, so I didn't have a history. Again, I wasn't quite sure what was happening and asked some questions of my friend Pam, of Small Talk.  She questioned the possibility of tongue tie. Many years earlier I had purchased a book called, Tongue Tie: from confusion to clarity-a guide to the diagnosis and treatment of Ankyloglossia. Apparently Carmen Fernando's monograph is a definitive work. At the time I had been curious about the subject, (I did not pay the $250.00 it now costs), but had no pressing need to read the book.  Now I did, and it was GREAT.  I wonder what took me so long? :)
5. Late July brought the SLP Summit, which was quite good. I took 5 of the 8 webinars offered and again was inspired to learn more.
6. As an SLP working in the schools my salary is dependent on "steps" and credits beyond my degree. I got my masters degree in 1986! I really had had enough of school. I did get 12 credits beyond my masters but I need 15 to increase my salary. So, I'm finally taking an online course; The Practice and Power of Vulnerability in the Classroom. While I don't have a classroom, I think the course has real potential for my work with all students, but particularly those with social pragmatic difficulties. As an added bonus the required reading is Brené Brown's Daring Greatly!
7. The training I am MOST excited for happens in October. I will be embarking on a four day training in orofacial myology. It helps that I was the winner of a $500.00 discount while at ASHA Connect! I am so excited for this and cannot wait to see the doors it opens for me as I begin planning the next chapter in my career.

As SLPs we have ethical responsibilities to ourselves, our profession, and the public as well as a responsibility to maintain professional competence. Personally, I feel these responsibilities have the added bonus of keeping me relevant, focused, competent, and excited to to what I do. Bring on the the 2019-20 school year. It's going to be great!

Thoughts from the Back Porch: Back to School

I've begun my 36th new school year and have had an opportunity to reflect on the transformation from my first year as an SLP in 1983 to today.  The arc of my life has been huge and I suppose that is a wonderful thing. I mean, who wants a life that remains stagnant? My final summer post is a simple share of some of the lessons I've learned, lessons that have improved my happiness and relationships.  In sharing, I hope you are able to find among these words one or two chestnuts that you can apply to your own life. It may just be the thing you need.

As you may have read, my husband and I have joined the ranks of the empty nester set.  I haven't embraced this happily, in fact it has been very hard for me and I find the hole left in our home to be akin to the Grand Canyon. I've been thinking about all the things I thought were a big deal while the kids were little and I was juggling motherhood, volunteerism, and a career and I sure do wish I had let more things go. I wish I had not flipped over laundry not in hampers or counters not wiped to my exacting standards. I wish I had said, "No," to early morning meetings scheduled on my time that required us to rush and leave our home in a flurry of frustration. I could have, I should have placed a premium on our time over my job. It's too late now. Now I'm left with memories of me being stressed. Folks, take it from me, if we allow employers to dictate our personal time, they will. So, I would encourage you then to have the courage to say, "This doesn't work for me. Would you consider finding another time?" You won't regret it.

Now for the transformation bit. I have always been a seeker and as a result I am in a perpetual state of searching. The upside is, I often find answers, solutions, resolution, and clarity. I have searched in some pretty wacky places, too.   I’ve explored Forum whereby you can “live an extraordinary life and redefine the very nature of what’s possible.” Ummmm, in just three days, mind you. Fortunately, I never followed through with that one. I was blessed with a UTI and had to cancel. Dodged that bullet!

The best was the energy workshop. At that one I was asked if I wanted to know how many alien implants I had in me. That was followed by whether I wanted to know how many implants were supposed to be in me, their host. By all means, please, tell me how many aliens are living within me, maybe that will explain my weight. I am eating for twelve! With a finger flick and a wave a fellow participant removed the alien implants that needed to reconnoiter with the mothership. I almost lost it when the presenter informed me that, yes, in fact, the x-files are real! Sweet mother of science, all I wanted at that moment was a close encounter with an earthling. Clearly, I am a seeker, I seek transformation, but change happens organically. It doesn’t start, then stop, it’s more fluid; sometimes trickling other times surging. Where I am today I can definitively say, “You’re right, God, I am destined to do more than I thought possible.”

One weekend in 2014 I was planning to attend a weekend workshop that had been recommended by an individual I trusted implicitly. The website got me: “Are you willing to be an empowered human being?” YES! 

Do you want to “eradicate your mind of generated fears while empowering your creative self expression, authenticity, connection, and aliveness?” YES, whatever aliveness is. 

“Are you still looking for the success you feel you deserve?" YES! 

"Do you see negative patterns affecting your relationships with loved ones?"  YESSSSS!! 

"Has the realization of your supposed goals in life, career and marriage left you unsatisfied?” YES, YES, YES!!! 

I’m in! I paid my $400.00, I packed my bag, I filled my cooler, and I was off! Woohoo, healing here I come! After six hours I was running for the door! The next morning roughly 20 insights came to mind and those insights were the impetus for the transformation that I live today. They are the source of my relationships with family, friends and colleagues. Here you go. Take what you want, mull over the rest, or stop reading now, although I do hope you read on.

1. I don’t have to have a breakdown to have a breakthrough. 
2. Often those who profess to hold all the answers demonstrate, practice, and exhibit the same “flaws” they point out in others. I am really okay. I am loved. I am valued. I am appreciated, by God, by my friends, and by my family.
3. I love who I am! 
4. Often those who profess to want to help are hiding behind their altruism. Beware of collusion.
5. I am powerful. 
6. I love who God created me to be. 
7. I love my husband. 
8. I love my children. 
9. I feel a peace and purpose in my life. 
10. I feel a patience I haven’t known. 
11. I feel forgiveness for those in my past who had a hand in my trauma. It all really doesn’t matter. 
12. I am powerfully in love with God who has blessed me with these insights. 
13. I don’t have to do it all. I only have to do what matters. 
14. Many will spin a situation to substantiate their design. 
15. Many will make judgments without the facts and present them as truths. That’s their interpretation of the truth. Remain grounded in what's healthy for the mind, body, and soul. 
16. The people you think you can trust will not be there if they are challenged, afraid, or want to preserve their agenda. Trust God. Lean on him, not man. 
17. I am loved by the King of the Universe. What do I fear? Nothing! 
18. I can be wrong; whatever! 
19. My husband means more to me than anyone. 
20. I don't need to search any further than my faith. Anything else is a wolf in sheep's clothing. Stay grounded.
21. Group think is dangerous and disconcerting.
22. I let go. I am free!

I am telling you, that at that point while I was a believer I was not willing to give all of myself to his work. I was not willing to give up who I wanted to be and that is where my anxiety came from. My anxiety stemmed from my resistance to being all that I could be. I could transform to a point, but I still wanted to be accepted by others and conformed by their standards. I now understand that I had to yield to what I have been designed to be. I had to transform into what I have been designed to be. I want to share all of me without fearing my inadequacies, my self-doubt, my concerns with what others will think.

I am entering this new school year empowered like no year before. I don't fear what I might be asked to do. I am transformed with courage and strength. My encouragement comes in knowing I am not alone and would never be asked to do more than what I am capable of doing. It will be a good year. I am sure there will be difficult days, with difficult situations and difficult people. Difficult days don't mean I have to dive in headlong into the drama, it doesn't mean I have to collude. I can practice my "art of the pause," breathe and behave in a reasonable fashion acting as someone who has done this for 35 years. Yes, there will be difficult days, but they don't stop the clock, tomorrow will arrive. Then we have a chance to start again knowing who we are and living as those who accept who we are designed to be. Have a wonderful school year!

My last shots of summer...