Thoughts from the Back Porch: Feathering the Empty Nest

It has been an interesting summer. In many respects it has been wonderful, and yet I am left with a subtle, yet fully palpable sense of dread. In chatting with friends over current events in my life my dear SparklleSLP suggested I write about my experiences. I think that is a great idea, so my next few posts will focus on the impending transition to the empty nest.

This is not a transition I am eager to experience. I have treasured having my children home safe and sound. Our eldest has already left for NYC and our second will be departing in 3 weeks for the same place. While I am so excited for them to begin the journey toward adulthood and what that means in terms of our relationships, I also want them here with us. I am filled with joy and sorrow, joy for their adventures and sorrow for the door that is closing. I am truly writing this with tears in my eyes and a smile on my face; forever the proverbial push-me-pull-you of Dr. Dolittle fame.

Rather than dwell on my sadness in this seminal post, I am choosing to look at what I have learned from our children and there is much learned this summer. First and foremost I have learned to trust God's plan for our children. WOW, has that one been a challenge! My friend, Laura shared the prayer she says, "Lord help me trust YOUR will for my child." That has proven difficult, although not impossible. What I am learning is I need to relinquish my desire to control the outcomes of their lives, knowing it is all part of a perfect plan for THEM. So when Nora was sick and I went down the road to catastrophizing, I pulled back and prayed and prayed and prayed. Turns out the poor kid is allergic to wheat, dairy, AND eggs (that we know of)! She will be fine with some adjustments, thank God. When Mack made some choices we didn't agree with and I went down the road to catastrophizing, I pulled back and prayed and prayed and prayed. Turns out he needs to make his own choices and we need to trust that his choices are now his responsibility and his experiences are part of God's plan for him. We have to trust that the values we have imparted will remain.

Thank you to all the prayer warriors who prayed with me! These were hard weeks filled with anxiety I haven't felt in quite some time. I have learned that I can cope. I can be the parent of adult children. They still want me to be their Mom, but it is more about them knowing I can allow them wings to fly and a nest to return to when they need me. Thank you, dear children for making me better. I love you.