Sunday, October 18, 2015

What's the story, Annie?


If you lived in New York, New Jersey or Connecticut in the 70s you remember a commercial for an appliance store that used the tag line, "What's the story, Jerry?" I am nine weeks into my 33rd year as an SLP! I've been thinking quite a lot about how I got here. What is my SLP story? What makes me the SLP into which I have evolved? It comes as no surprise that my experiences uniquely prepared me for my future, but how I used those experiences to become the woman, the professional I am is worth considering. Here is my SLP story.

My childhood was complex. My parents were loving, but had significant baggage of their own. After their divorce my poor Mother struggled with finances, teenage sons, and her difficulty caring for her sixth and and seventh children while getting a graduate degree and working. Unfortunately, the result was neglect. We weren't lacking in love, just having our physical needs met. I most definitely learned love and compassion from my Mother. After losing my Mother when I was fifteen, my anxiety was tremendous and I had virtually no confidence in my abilities nor my potential. My 27 year brother and his 26 year old wife moved in with my younger brother and me. We worked hard to forge a stable family relationship. My grades in high school were good, but I never pushed myself. I did what I had to do and no more. I didn't participate in any extracurricular activities, no sports, no theater, no clubs, nothing. I wanted to take risks, but was afraid to do so. As a senior in high school there were no college visits, no aspirations, no desire to go away. I applied to two colleges, was wait listed for one and accepted into the other. When completing the applications I suspected I could learn how to do most anything, so I closed my eyes and pointed to the page listing majors. My finger landed on speech-language pathology. I suspect divine intervention! I chose to attend William Paterson College and majored in Speech Path. In May of my freshman year of college my Father died. I was eighteen. Still reeling from my losses, I commuted for four years dividing my time between classes, working at a drug store, and partying with my friends. I did work harder in college and was consistently on the Dean's List, but as a commuter, I still didn't gravitate toward campus life. I was, nevertheless, the VP of the speech pathology club and the Secretary for Kappa Delta Pi, the International Honor Society in Education, but what I really excelled in was playing quarters. 

I graduated in 1983 and my first year as an SLP was spent working part-time in four schools in four towns. In those days a master's degree was not yet mandatory to work as an SLP. It is hard to believe; I was 22 years old and worked in two high schools and two elementary schools. Three of my students at the high school were eighteen year old boys! I often think about that year and wish I could go back and do a better job! I was so young and had so much to learn. I remained positive despite grasping at straws at how to motivate kids who were only slightly younger than I was.

Really, during that period I wasn't sure if I was going to continue in the field, but as luck would have it, a position for a graduate assistant at Montclair State College was advertised in the paper and my brother suggested I apply. I called the number listed and waited for a response. The following day I received a call, not exactly the call I wanted, however. Evidently, I dialed the number inadvertently using MY telephone exchange and not the exchange of the graduate office. I had left a detailed message and the kind soul I contacted was thoughtful enough to return my call and tell me I had the wrong number! I remember her saying, "This sounded like an important call, so I wanted to be sure to tell you, you had the wrong number." I went on the interview and was accepted into the communication sciences and disorders program as a graduate assistant!

I continued my part-time SLP work and my job as a cashier as well as completing the responsibilities as a graduate assistant for the first year of the program. I then found a full-time school position during my second year of graduate studies. This was the period I found my passion for speech-language therapy. As you know graduate school is tough. I think it is tougher now than when I went, but it still kept me crazy busy and crazy stressed. I passed the "ASHA exam," as we then called it, and completed my CFY. I began to realize I was competent, creative, and smart. I took risks. I found my voice. I found my heart. I found my passion and like a butterfly from a chrysalis, I found my wings and I soared! 

How have my experiences prepared me for my profession as an SLP? I am able to view each child as worthy, even the ones with dirty clothes. I am able to see the smile in every child, even the ones with downcast eyes. I am able to see the leader in every unmotivated middle school student, even the ones who don't play sports or get the lead in the play. I am able to advocate for each student, especially the ones who feel silenced. I am able to ease the sadness of every child, even for merely thirty minutes, especially the ones who have little hope. I am able to state with conviction to every child that you are good at something, even if you don't believe that today. I am able to listen with a compassionate ear to the child who believes "nobody likes them" and to reply with certainty, "I do." I am able to gently encourage those students who are fearful to take a risk. I am able to explain to every child that this place is the beginning of their story, not the end. 

It's always a good practice to reflect. If you would like to share your story grab the graphic above. What is your SLP story? How have your life experiences primed you for your career? 
Write it!
Dream it!
Love it!
Share it!
Live it!
Be it!

8 comments:

  1. Annie, this brought tears to my eyes. I'm so glad you came to realize your inner greatness and shine it for the whole world to see. I have no doubt you are a bright light in the lives of your students. Your finger sure did some good picking!

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    1. Thanks for the comment. I really wondered if I should have posted it. My finger hesitated over that publish button, but then I realized everything I have experienced is everything I have become and it is okay to share that part of me. Thank you for the affirmation, Mia!

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  2. Let me get this out of the way: I literally LOL'd at you excelling in quarters!
    My heart goes out to you. My heart hurts for you and the pain you've had in your life. For sure God was preparing you to be the awesome person & SLP you are today.
    I agree with you: I think the girls going through Grad School today have it much tougher than we did, but there's so much more to learn now than there was back then. Or, maybe I was just stupid & naive. Oh, if we could have had the gift of experience when we first started!
    Thanks for such a open, honest post!

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    1. Were you good at quarters too, Mary? Please don't feel bad. The reason I wrote this was to take a look at how my experiences have made me the SLP I am. Things only hurt for a short time and then we grow. Julian of Norwich said, " First there is the fall. Then we recover from the fall. Both are the mercy of God." I consider myself especially blessed that I had each and every opportunity to grow.

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  3. Oh, Annie! You made me laugh and tear up! Such a touching and honest story about what you went through to get where you are today. I have no doubt students believe you when you say "I like you". This reminds me of the book The Glass Castle by Jeannette Walls, which also taught me to look at every child's heart and needs. And it gives me hope for my own son who is struggling to begin his story.

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    1. I read the Glass Castle! My goal was to take a look at how I evolved and how what seemed difficult at the time was actually a blessing! I'll pray for your son and as I'm sure you know, if he can find a someone he trusts to talk to it will help a lot. I finally found my confidante two years ago and my life changed!

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  4. Thank you for sharing your story. You are a strong, resilient, compassionate woman, Annie Doyle! I'm sure you never dreamed that you would impact so many people, children and colleagues alike, but just look at how many lives you've positively impacted! Knowing your background makes me love and respect you all the more!

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    1. Never in a million years! It was all part of the plan! Every person I meet impacts me right back!!

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