You Are Beautiful

Caution: this is in large part, a non speech-language pathology related post. My last post delineated who I want to be as an SLP. This morning I was reflecting more about who I want to be as a human. I once read a quote along these lines, "What if we wore our words? What would the cloaks we wrap ourselves in look like?" My cloak would be garish, unwieldy, and ugly. I've recently started listening to the way I talk about myself. Last post I wrote that I want to be an "affirmer" for my students, I want them to know I value their struggles and their efforts. Why is it so hard for me to do that for myself? When my friends say they want to hike or run with me I get intimidated and say, "No you don't, I'm slow." When told I'm beautiful, I think, "No, I'm not." Yesterday, someone told me I'm brilliant and I couldn't establish eye contact! She noticed and said, "You can look at me when I say that," but I couldn't. My words about myself are less than flattering and if I heard my children, a friend, a student, a colleague speak of themselves that way I would swiftly rebut their statement. When I look in a mirror and cringe spewing unkind descriptions, my beautiful daughter comes to my rescue. I DO NOT want her to have to do that!
I have a sign in my speech room that reads, "People by and large become what they think about themselves." I saw it in an office and after further research discovered it is attributed to a psychologist named William James. So when I refer to myself as fat, slow, old, inept, I reinforce it and become fat, slow, old, and inept. The Annie I talk about is not the Annie I choose to be. I say "choose" because I do have a choice. In order to be loved I must love and that includes loving the person God created in me.
While it can be a challenge to embrace myself, warts and all, if I do, I set an example for my children and my students to accept themselves. How much happier could I be, could we all be if we stopped battering ourselves with unkind words?
On a particularly self-deprecating day, I was leaving work and found a note with a Hershey kiss attached. It was from my young, wise speech assistant. She wrote, "You are beautiful. Just the way God made you." Oh sweet girl your words brought tears to my eyes and helped me realize how I portray myself to the world! Today is the day it stops! So, hello world, it's me beautiful, funny, brilliant, loving, buxom Annie! If you happen across this post I challenge you; say to yourself, your family, students, colleagues, everyone out loud, "I am beautiful! Just the way God made me!"