Many years ago we had friends over for dinner, friends I truly love. It had been a long week and I spent my Saturday cleaning and cooking a turkey dinner. A veritable Thanksgiving feast. As we were tucking into pumpkin pie and coffee, the conversation shifted to parenting. It was then my friend looked at me and said, "Well, you're not a full-time mom." Six words uttered that have been etched in my memory and heart. My response was simple and to the point, "Make no mistake, I am a full-time Mom."
Often when I worked late on an evaluation, those words echoed. When I had to rush my children out of the house for an early morning meeting, those words echoed. When my husband would bring a pizza to school and we would eat in my speech room, those words echoed. I have long since forgiven the cavalier attitude that I presume accompanied those words, yet even today those words echoed, forgiven, not forgotten.
Yes, I was and am a full-time SLP, working for both the salary and the benefits that provide dental and health care coverage to my family and now college educations (as well as the love of the job). I also fondly remember helping with bake sales, waiting for my little ballerina to finish dance class, being the den leader for cub scouts, teaching religious education, kindling a spirit of volunteerism at walks for cancer and life, driving to track meets, cross country meets, lacrosse games, editing college applications, baking bread and washing floors and dirty clothes. I was a full-time Mom, after all, and that was what I did.
I know mom-guilt is real but, I share this to remind all working moms who feel even the slightest tinge of guilt to release it. I've heard it said that guilt is productive for all of ten minutes, after that it becomes destructive. We work, in large part, to provide for our families, nevertheless we are also models of success, perseverance, love and dedication. Working moms shine in ways that can't be quantified. Be gentle with your professional self and be gentle with your personal self. It was good for me to remember not to take either of my selves too seriously, nor to separate them!
Years have passed since that eventful dinner party. Our kids are both seeking adventures on their own and I have quite a bit more time on my hands. Despite this one thing remains, I am to this day a full-time Mom and I am pleased to say, "In my heart, I always will be."
